About the Author:

With a career that has spanned advertising, production, technical services, and project management, Michael is able to articulate the wide range skills and professions that make the Internet work. This eclectic understanding and his desire to shine the light on those hiding behind techno babble has brought success to a wide range of projects.

Twitter @bissell

Linked In

Past Postings:

Using Dissent To Enhance Your Social Influence Online

Industry Profile - Author

Industry Profiles Full Time Employees - Professional Writer

Some Thoughts On Freelancing

Building Your Online Brand

Marissa Mayer and the Change in Yahoo's Remote Workforce

LinkedIn for Professional Writers

Fake Republican Twitter Accounts

"Did you mean?" -- Google's chiding nanny of search results

Branded Technology

Sharingspree.com -- Stealing more than GroupOn's Idea

The Internet Isn't Entertaining Enough

It's not your bank... It's Apple's and Amazon's

Violated by Madison Avenue

Google+ Scares Me

"We need to..." Internet Marketing Myths

Facebook's deal with the Devil

My cool new phone is a little too cool.

You are never alone

Promotion vs. Distribution... You'd think they'd know that one...

Publishing Industry Watch

Content for Social Media

Social Media Slot Machine

Anonymous vs Me

News from the Twitter Follow Campaign Trail

The art of Indiscriminate Twitter Following

The Cloudy Meaning of The Cloud

The Demand For The Loss of Creativity

Alien Technology and Government Conspiracies

Time for a New Reality

The Death of Email

Protecting Free Speech... Anonymously (and geekily)

Amazon Shouldn't Have Shut Down WikiLeaks

The Superpowers of the Hive Mind

Time for New Ideas

Comcast, Netflix and the Mystery of the Modem

The Great Technical Disconnect

New for the Sake of New

A Retail Store Built Like the Web

Disposable Personas

When did Google Start Policing the Internet?

Getting back to HTML basics, thanks to Apple

Inspecting my Navel Base

A shoebox vs. an online backup

Is Your "Resume" Website Recruiter-friendly?

iBooks -- Creative Epicenter or Gatekeeper?

The Failure of Success

The Economy is Going to Get Worse, but that's okay

Time lost on Twitter

Client Vendor Relationships

Twitter's back alleys and dark places

Social Media is NOT Advertising

Microsoft Courier

Form (designers) versus Function (geeks)

PDXBOOM -- The power of social media and the portland pipe bomb

China and Apple -- Different organizations, same management

The volume of screens


Google Adds Biking Directions to Maps


That magical little tablet

How your website can be in two places at once

Masterpieces created by sheer volume

Suing over lack of originality

A Primer on Internet Fame -- dancing babies, hamsters, numa numa, and more...

Checking my messages

Rules are made to be broken -- in a reasoned, systematic way

So many accounts, so few passwords

Who really uses Twitter? 60% of Twitter's traffic isn't on Twitter

The Web is a Jerry Rigged Kludge

Twitter: Asleep at the Mouse Wheel

Where regulation is good: Google Voice and Vonage

How Facebook is (unintentionally) forcing programmers to piss off users

The Twit Cleaner

Perfect Secretary's pitch for @Adbroad (and the Youtube API)

The Emotions of Text

The Shorty Awards Scandal -- Manual Spam is still Spam

Google Analytics, the cloud and missing numbers #fail

Helen Klein Ross & Michael Bissell Interview at Adweek's Social Media Strategies Conference

The Internet is the New 60's

Cougars from New Zealand (and I don't mean big cats)

Adding facts together, or why you can't charge your cell phone from wifi

Social Media and the Destruction of the World

Rabid Fans vs Passive Viewers -- The Coco vs Leno saga

How to tell someone to retweet (without using up your 140 characters)

You can't buy social media

A book unopened is but a block of paper

Building the LOST: The Final Season Sweepstakes

Holiday SPAM (or the lack thereof)

Archiving Twitter

Too Many Toolbars

Random Censorship with Google Adwords

Accessibility and Shopping Online

Twisted path to customer service

Flash: Shiny objects blinding your audience

Twollow and other gold rush scripts

GPS in a Laptop computer

Thinking outside the box... There was a box?

Twitter was designed for Text Messaging

It's not the corporations, damnit

Entrepreneur or Dreamer?

Adweek Social Media Twitter for Brands Presentation

Socializing is more than Social Media

Generational Marketing is a Myth (or Who's your Daddy?)

Social Media is Just the Way We Use the Internet

Twitter Followers Don't Matter (ask the porn sites)

The Internet is Gooder than Books

Sometimes you don't want your campaign to go viral

Best Twitter Branding Campaign

Like flies to crap, Spammy Twitter Followers don't really go away

iPhone SMS Security Hole

How Flipmytweet works

Cell Phones as Microscopes

Digg is not the Hijacker -- You Are

Steve Ballmer -- the walking dead?

Twitter as an open mic poetry reading

Automatic Social [un]Awareness

New York, New York

First splash for United Against Malaria

New Media/Old Media and the CLIO Awards

Interview at SXSW: Mad Men Twitter And Tracking

We've got an App for that -- it's called the Web

Understanding Google To Get Your Resume Noticed

Made it to SXSW in Austin

The trouble with Wordpress and other templates

Wayward Words with Baggage

Speaking at SXSW March 17th

The fleeting Memory of the Internet

It's okay to say 'I don't know'

Good Morning America, now Go Fight Traffic

More surreality in Portland

Nike Takes Over Conquent

Facebook owns this title

Excuses, excuses

A little on Social Media

Feeding on Content

Attack of the Bots

Irish Music in Oregon City

Landing on an Aircraft Carrier

Got Curry? And some bizarre art?

Web 1.0

Random Music and Random Life in Portland

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump

Flight Simulator

Cold night, hot fire, happy cat

Net Neutrality

Walking to work in the snow

A window into Moreland of the Past

Getting clever with data feeds

Big and Little Beirut

The Other Credit Crisis

The Broadband Inauguration

T-Mobile owns Magenta and Other Patent Stories

The Risk-takers, Doers and Makers of Things

The noise of 20,000+ Twitter Followers

Reflections on my DC Trip

Born Again American

30,000 feet, 500 MPH Suburban Strip Mall

Cellphones, toilets and the Inauguration

The wall of pissing

National Treasure/National Archives

My trip to DC so far

Everyone is insane

Getting ready for DC

The End of Days (of song): Microsoft Songsmith Example

The Very Model of a Modern Major General

Browser Bigotry

The Death of your Soul: Microsoft Songsmith

Creative Development or Developing Creatively?

Race to Witch Mountain

The Myth of Wikipedia (or the Wiki-1400)

Online/Offline Sales -- is it really that bad?

Is PayPal Tacky?

Old School Web Design Still Works

Domain Squatting

Christmas Fire

Green Chri$tma$

QA 101

Portland Snow

Get some return on that web traffic

I think they have a backup...

I'd love to have that problem

The [un]importance of statistics

Don't be a tool of viral marketing

CAT Scan!

Follow up to the shoulder injury

Emails, discussions, blogs, wiki and web content

Ironic Injury

On the Santa Monica Pier

You Designed for Print First

You let someone else register your domain name

You figured .biz, .info, .us would work fine

What's after the Integrated Circuit?

Intelligent life is out there (but it's bugger all down here on earth)

Subject Matter Experts Talking Other Subject Matter

The Totalitarian Regime of Apple

Oversimplifying how people work


Creative Services for the New World

Reverse Anthropomorphism

The End of Time

Oil prices and birdsong

Watching Starship Troopers AGAIN!

Better Living Through Twitter

Lessons Learned From Apple

It's the Brand, Baby

Business Architecture vs. Web Construction

On Truth

You can't build life

Accidentally Drunk in Portland

Al Gore the Winner

Intelligent life is out there (but its bugger all down here on earth)

Aussie Rules Football

Trip to Nostalgia Land

I am such an idiot

Long day of travel

Miami -- as far from Portland as you can go in the US

Inverse Peter Principle

Random Knowledge

I'm fascinated with modern plumbing

Leaving Seattle (or why you should keep your ticket close)

On the Rails

The Hive

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New York, New York
2009-06-28 12:32:20

I've heard there are three kinds of travelers: the Tourist (everybody hates a tourist), the Infiltrator (it's fun to pretend, but watch out when it all falls apart), and the Business traveler, which seems to be the only kind of travel I do.

I actually think I prefer business travel best -- it's somewhere between tourism and infiltrating, which means I get to play tourist and see the "boring" bits of a city. I put "boring" in quotes because I think the day-to-day stuff is what life is all about; if you just see all the big sights, you miss the real city.

I'm the guy who finds the interesting underbelly of Orlando; this was my first trip to New York City which is a city that's interesting from any angle, and it didn't disappoint.

I got into JFK at about 5 in the afternoon. They were so busy there wasn't a gate available so we deboarded right onto the tarmac -- this must happen a lot as they had busses waiting, but I have to say the only other time I've gone directly outside from a jet was in the Arcata airport; I don't expect it from one of the biggest cities in the world.

Getting from JFK to @adbroad's place in the upper west side at that time of day sort of requires taking the subway, unless you want to sit in traffic for three hours. Unlike most cities, a lot of New York can be seen in the subway, and I don't mean outside the cars.

My first vision of New York was of two girls in colorful Indian garb on the drab subway. No one gives you a second look in New York, no matter what. I love the contrast of the color and joy of the two girls with the bored New Yorker dozing next to them. I took the photo surreptitiously with my phone on my knee, and ifyou look carefully over the shoulder of the girl in yellow, you can just make out my reflection in the window.

Near Columbia University there is a Mexican restaurant with a rooftop bar. I personally think it's a mean trick to put a bar at the top of a four story building with long flights of stairs, but they told me people rarely get drunk and fall down them. Rarely...

I wasn't expecting much from East Coast Mexican fare, but I was surprised with a Portobello Fajita Quesadilla and a passable margarita made with some tequila I had never heard of.

I went to New York for meetings with Hill and Knowlton and the UN Foundation to discuss the United Against Malaria website. The H&K offices are in midtown, so I took the subway down to 59th and walked the five or six blocks across town.

Everyone says there's nothing going on in midtown, and they're pretty much right. I mean, if you like non-descript 1970s architecture, you'll have a great sightseeing trip -- it sort of looks like they took one building out of every city in America and dropped it into the middle of Manhattan for filler.

After meetings were done, Helen suggested a play; I know nothing about what to see in New York, so we met at the tckts building in Times Square.

The heat and the rain were a remarkable combination, keeping some of the throngs of tourists away. They seem to have taken every Disney film ever made and turned it into a Broadway musical (although I didn't see Herbie Rides Again, I wouldn't have been surprised).

We chose Our Town, which everyone has seen so many times it seems amazing that I somehow haven't. The show was in a couple hours, so Helen suggested a "quirky New York thing" -- Chinese massage.

Onto the subway up to 76th street, through a small, poorly marked door, into a room divided by curtains. I knew my muscles were a mess from stress and injury, but, wow, that woman found knots I didn't know existed. She didn't speak English beyond "okay" and "too hard?"

Then back on the subway, down to the West Village, where the play was amazing. Minimalistic, until the very end, when they relive a day in life with amazing detail. Words won't do it, you'll just have to go to New York and get a ticket.

After the play, we went to a Japanese/Peruvian restuarant and were served by Korean hipster girl in the sidewalk cafe seating. Dinner consisted of duck comfit gyoza, an amazing roll of lobster and tuna, and a dessert that was layered with a whipped milk meringue, chopped mango, caramel ice cream and sake jelly. I'm not sure I want to know how they jellify sake, but it was amaing.

I had to get up and head back to the airport the next morning, wishing I had gotten photos of the Australian bride, in a short white dress on the curb, using her bouquet to hail a cab, reminiscent of the Statue of Liberty or of the Mariachi band in their Mexican cowboy outfits playing on the subway, but I guess these are the images you see all the time in New York.

My final hour in New York was frantic as I had written the time down wrong for my flight, and only had half an hour when I got there. People are surprisingly accommodating when you're obviously pressed to get to your flight, and I managed to get to the head of the line at the ticket counter, get my boarding pass, get through security and walk onto the plane.

As much as I enjoyed New York, I really didn't want to spend an extra 8 hours there until the next flight back to Portland...

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